“What Seems Like a Battle of Wills is Actually Your Child Learning That Things Don’t Always Go Their Way.”
Simone Davies, 2019, The Montessori Toddler
Interesting Facts About Children
- Children need to explore and discover the world around them – It is important to allow them to explore outdoors (walking barefoot on grass, splashing in water, running in the rain).
- Children need to move – At this stage of development, children have a strong need for movement and for refining their motor skills. They do not like to stay still. It is important to create a safe environment, under supervision, where they have space to move.
- Children need to say “no” – This is a phase of self-assertion, where they realise their identity is distinct from their parents’ and begin to seek more autonomy.
- Children need to say “no” – This is a phase of self-assertion, where they realise their identity is distinct from their parents’ and begin to seek more autonomy.
- Children need order and consistency – They prefer things to be the same every day. Routines, rules, and familiar places are highly organising factors for them. When boundaries are inconsistent, they tend to test them (if they see that crying or complaining works, they will repeat it).
- Children are impulsive – The part of their brain responsible for self-control (the prefrontal cortex) is still developing. This means they require guidance, patience, and supervision as they navigate emotional reactions.
- Children need time to process what we say – Instead of repeating an instruction, try counting to 10 in your head, giving them time to process and respond.
- Children love mastering new skills – They enjoy repeating actions until they feel they have perfected them. They often take on challenging tasks and, once mastered, move on to something new. Observe what they are trying to master, encourage them, and offer help if they ask.
- Children need to communicate – They express themselves in various ways. Babies communicate through murmurs, which we can mimic; toddlers babble, and we can show interest; older children ask questions, which we should answer thoughtfully. Using careful language is important, as they absorb everything we say.
- Children like to contribute and feel part of the family – They are often more interested in their parents’ belongings than their own toys and enjoy participating in household tasks.
- Children are not trying to make life difficult – When we see challenging behaviour as a call for help rather than a personal attack, we can ask ourselves: “How can I help right now?” This shifts our response from frustration to support.
Sensitive Periods for Children
Language
Children observe our mouths, babble, imitate speech, and then experience a language boom.
- Use rich vocabulary.
- Use correct terminology.
- Read books together.
- Have conversations, allowing pauses for them to respond. Follow their interests.
Order & Routine
Children thrive on order.
- Establish routines so they know what to expect next. Keep “a place for everything and everything in its place.”
- Be understanding if a child gets upset when things don’t follow the usual pattern.
Attention to Small Details
From 18 months to 3 years old, children are particularly drawn to small objects.
- Sit at their level to see what they observe from their perspective.
Acquiring Movement
Young children develop gross and fine motor skills (walking, using hands). As they grow, they refine these skills and gain better coordination.
- Provide opportunities for motor skill development.
- Allow them time to practice and improve.
Sensory Exploration
Children are fascinated by colours, tastes, smells, textures, and sounds as they explore their environment.
- Give them access to rich indoor and outdoor environments to engage all their senses.
- Allow free exploration.
- Discover new things together.
Manners & Courtesy
This period begins around 2.5 years old, but children absorb manners from the example set by adults before then.
- Trust that manners and courtesy develop naturally, without excessive insistence.
- Lead by example in daily life.
How Can Parents Help? Activities to Develop Key Skills
Eye-Hand Coordination
- Threading activities.
- Shape-sorting games.
- Opening and closing containers.
- Categorising objects by colour, size, or shape.
- Tactile guessing games (identifying objects by touch inside a bag).
- Puzzles.
Music & Movement
- Shaking instruments (maracas, tambourine).
- Percussion instruments (drum, xylophone).
- Wind instruments (harmonica, flute).
- Listening to music.
- Running,
- jumping (skipping, hopping),
- cycling,
- climbing,
- sliding.
- Balance and coordination activities.
- Playing with a ball.
Daily Life Activities at Home
- Caring for Plants Watering, cleaning leaves, planting seeds.
- Preparing Food Beating eggs, washing vegetables, pouring cereal and milk.
- Baking Measuring ingredients, mixing, and pouring.
- Caring for Pets Feeding, helping with walks, refilling water bowls. • Self-Care Skills Blowing their nose, brushing hair, washing hands and teeth.
- etting Dressed Putting on/taking off socks and shoes (with Velcro). Dressing/undressing (shirts, trousers, jackets, zippers, buttons).
- Laundry Putting dirty clothes in the basket, loading/unloading the washing machine.
- Supermarket Shopping Making a picture-based shopping list. Picking up items from the shelves. Helping push the trolley. Placing items on the checkout counter. Helping to unpack groceries at home.
Benefits of These Activities
- Children learn responsibility at home.
- Encourages teamwork to complete tasks. Collaboration strengthens family bonds.
- Repetition helps with concentration and mastery. Children feel valued as part of the family.
- Stimulates logical thinking through sequences in tasks.
- Encourages movement and fine motor skills.
- Promotes language development through interaction.
- Builds independence, confidence, and a sense of security.
Davies, S. (2019). The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being (3rd Edition). Lisbon: Editorial Presença.